By Mr. Hershel Wertheimer

Executive Director of Hamaspik Kings County

Question:

I'm a caretaker for my elderly mother, who has become increasingly withdrawn and disinterested in activities she once enjoyed. She often speaks about feeling useless. Could this be depression? What is the best way to approach her about it without making her feel worse?

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Answer:

This might be depression or a form of depression. Depression can vary from mild to severe, depending on the circumstances. When it comes to helping seniors with depression, it’s important to know that elderly mental health disorders are common, and there are straightforward steps you can take to improve the situation for your mother and for everyone around her.

As people age, they may realize that their previous roles—supporting a family, being active and productive, and feeling a sense of accomplishment—are no longer their current reality. 

They think, I used to be active and productive, and I felt accomplished, but that’s not the case anymore. I’m retired now and have a lot of extra time, I’m dependent on younger people to help me with my day-to-day functioning. This can take a big toll on their mental health and is one of the leading causes of symptoms of elderly depression.

Hashem has designed aging to naturally mitigate such challenges. As we grow older, we lose some of our drive, motivation, and physical ability, and we change our expectations of ourselves accordingly. This often helps people maintain self-esteem despite reduced activity levels. 

However, this isn’t always the case. Some people are troubled by the decline in their productivity. This can take a toll on their mental health and cause symptoms of elderly depression to appear.

So what can be done in regards to helping seniors with depression? 

Help your mother find new meaning in life. Fulfillment and joy often stem from social interaction. Try to help her create a vibrant community and encourage her to have visitors. Finding ways she can spend time with other people at her age and stage can be immensely beneficial.

Shift the source of fulfillment from productivity to social interaction. Once a person realizes that she can feel fulfilled in other ways, it can change everything for her.

Doing this isn’t as easy as it might sound; those who derived satisfaction from productivity and activity don’t adapt overnight. They may question the value of socializing, feeling this doesn’t match their self-image. It may require gentle persuasion and time to help them make this shift.

If these strategies are insufficient or if depression worsens, consider consulting a professional with expertise on elderly mental health disorders. Sometimes, a few sessions of therapy or medication can turn things around.

Wishing you much success in helping your mother enjoy her current stage of life.